I saw the breast surgeon and he had two radiologists look at the images and they do not advise a biopsy, but it will be up to Dr. S. I'm fine either way - I just want to get it over with.
I requested a few additional reports from my previous clinic and while I was on the phone I went ahead and scheduled a meeting with Dr. R to discuss DE.
Our first Dr. brought up DE and I just wasn't ready to hear it. I don't know that I'm any closer to knowing that it is the right path for me, but I know that I can't continue down my current path. It's hard to give up my genetic link. At least our child would know their Dad and would be blood related to the family we live near. I guess in some way its good that my AMH is low and I've been told my eggs are bad because I might continue trying if I had unexplained IF.
My life has been tough. Absolutely nothing has come easy or without some hardship. When I was younger I hoped that my life would be "normal". I would get married and have children and I would work hard to be the mother I never had. I know that if I get a chance to be a mom to a genetic baby or DE baby I will love it the same. I love children - always have...
Goldie...I know exactly what you are going through. The first few months after we discovered DE and realized this would be our best path was tough. Really tough...worse than any miscarriage I'd ever had. But the thought of NEVER having kids at all was much scarier. I just couldn't accept adoption no matter how much emotional work I poured into the decision. So DE was the happy medium for us plus at least it would carry my DH's DNA. AFter the sting of grief of the loss of a genetic connection subsided, it got better. Much better...and once we decided on which donor the issue virtually dropped off my radar. Now we feel so lucky that our donor matched our preferences beyond our wildest dreams. She was perfect and I just can't wait to meet this stranger growing inside me. She may share her DNA but LN10 will be raised with all of my family's values, traditions and love. LN10 was nourished from my body, my blood. I can say that I am now 99% over it. There will be challenging times ahead with regard to disclosure, etc. (actually my blog post today will talk a bit about DE challenges) but my heart feels ready for the challenges ahead. I feel strong and I was ready to make the change. Your heart will tell you what to do when its ready. Decisions are made when your brain is in a state of rationalization....not in grief/despair. Trust me you will know.
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