Change

I'm sitting in my home during a blizzard.  Its nice because everything gets quiet including my mind and I begin thinking - Oh my God - my life is going to change...

In one month time I will be closer to knowing if I can bear a genetically linked child.  There is so much riding on the eggs I've been cooking for the last three months.  Did you know it takes three months for your little eggs to get ready to surface to the top and grow for an IVF cycle?  This is so huge!  I can only hope for a maximum of 9.  I can hope 4 will fertilize with CCRM labs.  They say usually half are normal - 2.  This is a perfect scenario.  We all know there is nothing perfect about IVF.   

I wonder if I'm a little crazy some days because all I think about is infertility.  I think about my upcoming cycle.  I think about all the woman out there who do not have insurance.  Most of the treatments we receive are experimental because everybody reacts differently to the drugs they prescribe.  I think most doctors do their best to find the right cocktail for your situation and hope it works.  I think about the women who suffer in silence.  I was one of them and I'm so glad I'm climbing slowly out of my cave.

I don't think I know how much change is in store for me?