Friday, November 25, 2011

I'm back

I had the D & C and everything has been ok.  I had spotting for two weeks then everything stopped.  I had my two week follow-up appointment and everything seemed ok.  My OB did not do an ultrasound just an examination.  I haven't had the crazy emotional experience I had with a previous early miscarriage.  I've been teary off and on and a little in disbelief.  

Mostly, I feel thankful for having an opportunity to carry a baby even if only for a short period of time.  It was amazing seeing a heartbeat, even if it wasn't perfect.  I loved that my breasts were swollen, that I had horrible heartburn and was sleepy.

There is not a day that goes by where I don't think about how lucky I am.  I have a husband that supports my journey, an egg, and the resources to pursue IVF. 

I had my follow-up with Dr. S.  He thought the miscarriage was a fluke.  He encouraged me to talk to someone in their DE program.  I told him about RBA and he looked them up while I was on the phone with him.  He thinks I would have better success with CCRM. 

We are leaning toward another ER with CCRM.  I was at peace moving forward with DE until this cycle.  Now I am giving myself one more shot.  I really need closure before moving forward.  I am preparing for both.  I am busy testing and filling out paperwork.  We are going to pay the DE deposit.  I'm hoping to have the ER and begin gearing up for an ET with OE or DE.  Working with two out of town agencies should be fun.  You should see my kitchen table.  It is stacked with paperwork and multiple to do lists. 

I'm wondering how I will endure the holidays?  Last year I was fine.  I'm hoping the same for this year.           

Because I cannot leave comments for some weird reason -
Just a girl - Don't forget to bring your camera.  We took a picture of our little one and it was so cool to look at.  After the transfer I would just stare at it in disbelief.  I wish you all the best!