Sunday, September 26, 2010


I'm so relived my guests are headed home and I can say I had an amazing time with them.  My very good friend from Dallas is 16 weeks pregnant. Their first child was conceived instantly and this pregnancy took a little bit longer.  After seeing a RE and one round of treatment they are now preggers.  I want to be happy for my friends who are expecting.  I just never know how I am going to feel when I see their little belly or hear about the little one beginning to kick. 

On a positive note, as I get older, its nice to see people still having children.  Most of my friends have completed their family and are now just watching them grow.  I often feel so left behind.  I'm like the kid in PE who is picked last to play on the team only way worse.   

I'm sad for me and anyone else who has to go through this.  Infertility sucks!!!!   


Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Second Base

Dr. S listened and cleared us to visit CCRM for the One Day Work Up (ODWU).  It feels like we just passed first base and are headed to second next week!  He did recommended donor egg, but is willing to try a protocol for low responders and plans to have me begin supplements to help egg quality.

I've been looking at CCRM for many months and wondered if this was going to be our path.  I'm happy that I have the resources and the backing of my husband to travel for treatment.  My husband is on board 100% which takes off some pressure.  I know I really have to step it up with my diet, and begin taking supplements, and exercise more.  I always thought I would be excited about going, instead I feel cautious and exhausted. 

I'm so ready for all this to be over.  I just want to hold our little child in my arms and love on him/her.  I have to believe this can happen all the while protect my heart from being crushed if it doesn't work...     

Monday, September 20, 2010

The CCRM Interview

We secured an earlier initial consult with CCRM for today.  I requested an earlier consult because we would like to fly in from Chicago next week for the ODWU. I'm on Day 2/3 of my cycle today and they bring you in during days 5-12 for extensive testing to determine if you qualify into their program.

I've been told that I'm entering menopause and my chances for live birth is 10% by previous doctors so I fully expect Dr. S to tell me donor egg is our best path to parenthood.  I'm not ready to give up on my body just yet.  I want to give it one more try because I do believe this is all in Gods hands and I believe in miracles.  I guess I'm hoping Dr. S believes I'm a good candidate for a miracle.