Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Maya Abdominal Massage

I had a maya abdominal massage this morning.  I decided to get one after learning my uterus is tilted and this type of massage can help. 

I learned that my uterus tilts forward a bit and doesn't have much movement.  You want your uterus to move slightly from one fallopian tube to the other.  The space above my stomach is tight as well.  She said everything feels frozen...  Stress and sadness can cause this.  I know I have both.  She gave me some massage techniques I can do daily at home.  I'm going to try to get in at least one more session in before CCRM. 

I hope to find out today if CCRM is going to be an option for us this month.  I really hope we can get in.  On the other hand, I've never been more stressed out because of work and I'm sure that will have an impact on my success.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Best Christmas

I was blessed with a wonderful Christmas!  We spent Christmas day with my husband's side of the family.  I was not looking forward to the day at all.  Last year was horrible.  I had a kind of sadness wash over me that I had never experienced before.  I went into the bathroom several times to cry.  This year I kept waiting for mr. sadness to knock on my door, but he never came!

It helped that my dh showered me with gifts!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Blood Serum Drop-off

I had my day 2 blood serum taken on Friday and this morning I put everything together to mail off to CO. 

I arrived at the Fed Ex place that accepts "bio hazard material" and the sleepy fed ex woman asked me what's inside the box?  I let her know it was blood serum for IVF in CO.  She perked up and asked me if I'm watching Gulianna and Bill.  We chatted a moment about the show.  She had lots of questions and wished me luck with my cycle.

I'm so glad Gulianna and Bill are telling their story and people are watching and have a better understanding of what we go through! 


Thursday, December 16, 2010

First DE Dr. Visit

We met with our previous RE today to go over the possibility of DE.  We are still progressing with CCRM with my own eggs, but I want a plan if this doesn't work.  I want to be a mom, my DH and I want to start a family. 

I woke up very early this morning nervous that the Dr. would see right through me and know that I'm having a hard time with this decision.  Luckily, the meeting went well and I even came out of it with a few new resources to look at.



Wednesday, December 8, 2010

What am I looking for

I get online often throughout the day looking...  


for answers     for hope

I need for someone to tell me not to worry

I had an AMH level of .6 and got pregnant

I want to be pregnant

I want to move on and learn about the amazing things that happen to your body during pregnancy

I want to hold my newborn baby that has a few of my traits and my husband's traits and know that we created the perfect baby for us

I want to hold and love this baby and be the best mother

Will this be the year?  Will next year be the year?  When will my patience end?

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Good news

I received good news last week that I do not need to obtain a biopsy - yeah!  Now I wait for a . so I can submit Day 2/3 bloodwork and hope everything is normal.  I'm looking forward to a calendar and starting Phase 2. 

I haven't told work yet that I'm going to need the time off.  My boss is weird and I'm not looking forward to letting her know that I will be out for one, maybe two weeks.  I don't want to alert her because there is a chance that I might not pass the suppression check and she will make a big deal out of the time I've requested.  I came "out of the closet" with work last January and received the green light to move forward with my job and IVF.  I continued travel and IVF cycles.  I was crazy going forward with the cycles and the shooting up hotel rooms and Starbucks bathrooms and just keeping everything straight.  I'm glad to have a little less craziness in my life for this next cycle.  The one that really matters.   

I also think I've put life into perspective.  A job is a job is a job.  I love my job, but it is a job.  No one will care about the work I've put in after I'm gone.  I've accomplished more that I thought was ever possible professionally.  I never set out to be a professional.  I wanted to go to college to become a teacher so that I could work and take care of myself and a child should something bad happen to my marriage - like divorce.       

I had one friend announce her CCRM twin pregnancy news and one Reslove friend announce she is pregnant with one.  Both traveled down long hard roads, but in the end they are preggers.  Both are in their early 30s.  At this point I can't even imagine what it must feel like to actually know that you are going to have a baby.